When Did You Stop Trusting Yourself?

How Self-Trust Quietly Erodes

A man said something to me recently that really stuck.

He paused mid-sentence and said,
“I don’t know when it happened… but I don’t really trust my own judgement anymore.”

Not in a dramatic way.
Just quietly. Honestly.

As we talked, it became clear he wasn’t reckless or lost.
He was thoughtful. Responsible. Considered.

But over the years, he’d learned to override himself.

He’d chosen the sensible option.
The stable option.
The option that kept things running smoothly.

Each time he ignored that quiet inner nudge, he told himself it was maturity.
Being grown up.
Doing the right thing.

Until one day, that inner voice stopped speaking up so clearly.

And now, when something feels off, he doesn’t know whether to trust it, or dismiss it as noise.

Why Men Lose Self-Trust (Without Realising It)

Most men don’t lose self-trust because they’re weak or indecisive.

They lose it because they’ve been rewarded for coping.

For pushing through.
For being reasonable.
For not making a fuss.

Over time, you stop checking in with yourself, and start managing yourself instead.

So when unease shows up now, it feels unfamiliar.
Unreliable.
Easy to ignore.

But that signal hasn’t disappeared.
It’s just been quietened.

The work isn’t about finding the “right” answer.
It’s about rebuilding the relationship with your own inner signal.

From:
“I don’t know what I want.”

To:
“I’ve stopped listening for a while and I can relearn how.”

That’s a very different starting point.

A Simple Way to Start Rebuilding Self-Trust

Try this.

Finish this sentence, just for yourself:

One area of my life where I don’t fully trust myself right now is…

No explaining.
No justifying.
No fixing.

Just name it.

If you notice there are several areas where things feel blurred or muted, that’s often a sign structure would help, not to tell you what to do, but to reflect back what’s already there.

That’s exactly what The Life Audit is designed to do:
to surface patterns, blind spots, and what’s quietly asking for attention.

No pressure.
Just clarity.