Learning to Sit in the In-Between: Why Transitions Feel Uncomfortable
Life doesn’t always unfold neatly. There are moments when one chapter ends, but the next hasn’t begun — leaving a strange, uncomfortable space. This post explores why that in-between feeling is so unsettling, and how staying present can help clarity emerge naturally.
Why the In-Between Feels Uncomfortable
When men first start noticing that sense of “something’s shifted,” there’s often a second feeling that follows close behind.
It’s not fear exactly.
And it’s not urgency.
It’s discomfort with not knowing.
I see this all the time.
A man realises something’s finished — a way of working, a role, a rhythm of life, but there’s nothing obvious waiting on the other side yet.
And that space? That gap?
That’s where the mind kicks in.
It starts asking questions it can’t answer:
“What should I be doing instead?”
“How long is this going to last?”
“What if I get this wrong?”
Rather than staying with the uncertainty, we rush to fill it.
With busyness.
With distraction.
With old habits that at least feel familiar.
Not because they’re right, but because they’re known.
The Shift That Brings Steadiness
The discomfort you’re feeling isn’t a sign you need answers faster.
It’s a sign you’re being asked to stay present without certainty.
And that’s hard, especially for men who’ve spent their lives being capable, decisive, and reliable.
But transitions don’t unfold on demand.
They unfold when there’s enough space to listen.
Clarity doesn’t usually arrive while you’re forcing the next step.
It shows up when you stop trying to escape the in-between.
That uneasy feeling isn’t wasted time.
It’s part of the process.
You’re not stuck.
You’re gestating.
A Simple Way to Sit With Uncertainty
Instead of asking:
“What’s next?”
Try sitting with:
“What am I rushing to move past?”
Notice the moments where you reach for distraction, the urge to fill the silence, solve the feeling, or get back to certainty.
And just pause.
You don’t need to replace it with insight.
You don’t need a plan.
Just notice what it’s like to stay for a moment longer than usual.
Learning to tolerate uncertainty, without numbing it or fixing it, often allows the next chapter to emerge naturally.
Quietly.
In its own time.
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